Rant

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody) 09/21/2013 at 05:41 • Filed to: Rant

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So reading the RR Sport review I saw a comment asking when the RWD version was being released. The more I thought about it the more offended me... A RWD Land Rover!?! What slimy little Communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker would do that to a Land Rover?
/rant

Here is a RRC rock crawler for your troubles

Edit: When I hopefully - and by hopefully, I mean SWAMBO lets me - get a RR Sport at the end of next year I'm buying a set of steelies and putting Mud Terrain's on and heading up to Rausch Creek.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/21/2013 at 06:11

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I don't know why, but..

SUV without 4wd is just a stanced minivan. Really.

duurtlang > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 09/21/2013 at 06:28

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The vast, vast majority is being used as a stanced minivan. Furthermore most SUVs (not RRs) are technically nothing more than stanced minivans with a buff appearance. So it does make sense to make them RWD or FWD and have AWD as an option.

Mikeado > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/21/2013 at 07:38

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Maybe I shouldn't mention that the Èvoque N°4 is available from LR with FWD...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Mikeado 09/21/2013 at 07:47

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That thing is as much a Land Rover as the Fiat Panda is a Jeep.

Mikeado > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/21/2013 at 07:53

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It's based on a Freelander and still goes off-road well enough to qualify (with AWD, at least) despite its Made In Chelsea mentality. It's not a proper Range Rover, but that's another debate.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Mikeado 09/21/2013 at 08:00

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I was referring to the 2WD version, the AWD version isn't bad for what it is. I don't even know if you can go to a Land Rover off road day if you have a 2WD version.

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/21/2013 at 08:46

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I... I... what?

A Land Rover. No, a Range Rover flagship model with no AWD? Are they fucking smoking crack that got ass-smuggled and leaked? Did they self-inflict a head injury from bashing their head against a Celica on purpose after packing their nose with pocky to keep their brain from falling out? Did they drink ethanol gas until they could feel the colors, man? Does "Range" in their dictionary actually say "totally a drift track, bro?" I'd suggest the very idea of "simplify, add lightness by having all vehicles available in RWD only" eat a bag of dicks, but I fear they'd get actual nutrition from that and continue breathing my air, which they no doubt need assistance with anyway and occasional reminders to keep doing without suffocating on their own spit.

The, no, THE car to pioneer AWD with a center diff for everyone, and you want RWD-only? Simply no. Hell no. Fuck no. GFY, GTFAC, take a bath in gear oil, and FOAD in that order, aspirants to candy-ass minge trucks.

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > duurtlang 09/21/2013 at 08:51

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In the specific case of the RR, at least the flagship, to do so would imply a drastic change to the design function of an iconic drivetrain, and the whole point of AWD rather than 2wd/4wd in the Range Rover was always to enable mannerly road driving that did not sacrifice off-road behavior. If people don't want at a minimum an AWD system, they should not be in the market for a Range Rover. It's like expecting a Subaru to sell all models with RWD, but even more idiotic.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 08:56

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Amen brother.

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/21/2013 at 09:00

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In the interest of full honesty, I suppose I should mention that in the day of the Series I, LR did experiment with a RWD-only Land-Rover , but only briefly, and that was a kludge involving a single set of gears in a normal transfer case with no front output. They actually sold a few, but it was while the company was still finding its way. The RR, otoh, "wat".

Telumektar > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 09:01

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Hey Suburuh, why not a RWD-Sti, brah? For tha drifts, yah know?

Rally? Wass thaat?

/runsintothebushes

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 09:01

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I also learnt that apparently they build some Series III 2x4's for the Belgium army. No wonder they got their asses kicked in the Congo...

duurtlang > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 09:33

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I agree with you, but it's elitism. If someone buys one of these vehicles to go to the mall and to show off AWD isn't a useful feature. Unless when they want to boast about the AWD badge and the offroad capabilities of their spotless vehicle on low profile tires.

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > duurtlang 09/21/2013 at 09:45

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My point was actually more that in the case of the RR, the AWD is as much a luxury feature as a useful offroading one. Much in the manner of a Benz 4MATIC system or Audi Quattro system, it's legitimate for an on-road luxury vehicle to have AWD (rather than fixed 2wd/4wd, there's usually a distinction in the US between the two).

Thus, offering the vehicle without AWD would not only be compromising off-road capability, but compromising a point of luxury prestige. Viewed in that light, clamor for a 2WD version is patently insane, regardless whether the typical owner gets much effective use of the feature.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 09:53

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It's the same mentality that drives people to buy fake Rolex watches or fake Coach bags. They want people to think that they own a prestigious name brand, they could give two shits about the quality. They only care about the image, but anyone who thinks JLR would dilute their flagship product like that needs to lay off the crack pipe. That would be like someone saying they want Rolex to make a Day-Date out of tin so more people can buy it.

duurtlang > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 09/21/2013 at 10:16

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Sure, it's a luxury feature. One that many people want. Yet the Range Rover Evoque is available as a FWD vehicle (in Europe). Probably because the FWD version is quicker, more economical and cheaper than the AWD version that's identical in everything else. This lower fuel consumption is quite fundamental in certain (mostly European) countries. On both MB and Audi AWD is optional on everything but the most high end versions as well. Now I do understand the RR tradition, but as the Evoque example shows RR isn't afraid to stray from this tradition. Besides, we're not talking about the Range Rover here, it's the RR Sport, which is a very different vehicle.

Personally I wouldn't want a RWD RR, but I'm not a potential buyer.

dieselwagon > duurtlang 09/21/2013 at 11:44

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I would contend that the Eqovue is a symptom of the problem. A Range Rover branded vehicle, that has none of the other essential components. The Evoque is just a fashion accessory wearing a Range Rover badge.

What is good for 'business' now is not necessarily good for retaining the prestige and long term market position. The Freelander was already rubbish/good enough for the niche, but because it didn't have the Range Rover badge, it wasn't good enough for the fashion whores. So now they have not only diluted the Land Rover brand, but the Range Rover one as well. If we continue in this vein, we'll be seeing the Rolls Royce compact-executive/coupe and mass production of the Aston Martin Cygnet....